


Waiting

by ArwenLalaith



Series: So It Goes [5]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s02e23 No Way Out II, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-24
Updated: 2010-08-24
Packaged: 2017-10-11 05:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/109059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArwenLalaith/pseuds/ArwenLalaith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tag to 'No Way Out II'. You don't choose who you fall in love with...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waiting

_"You don't choose who you fall in love with..."_

That was what she had told Jane when she asked if it was wrong to fall in love with a serial killer. It was that moment the truth behind those words really dawned on her...

That realization simultaneously scared her and excited her. She had never been in love before and admitting that she was in love with him, even if only to herself, was a huge step for her. She had never felt more alive and more vulnerable at the same time in her entire life.

But when the excitement wore off, it gave way to worry – questions flooded her mind and uncertainty coursed through her veins like a rushing river. What if he didn't feel the same way about her? What if he never realized that he loved her? What would she do then?

She put herself in danger of physical pain all the time, but emotional pain was another story entirely. She didn't like allowing herself to be vulnerable because time after time, she only ever ended up getting hurt – it was easier to just lock her heart away to keep it safe. She had more faith in him than that though, but she also knew the kind of person he'd been before her...

Not knowing how to deal with situations like this, she chose to keep it to herself, suppressing the urge to tell him how she felt about him right away. She knew she would have to talk to him about it soon, but she wanted to put it aside for the moment, until she knew how she wanted to broach the subject...until she was sure she was strong enough to endure his response either way.

******

Emily didn't need to sat anything to let Morgan know that she was upset. In fact, that was usually how it went – she would be pensively silent and he would just know. He would try to cheer her up, give her time to let him in, but eventually, he would have to push her.

That had been the case that evening; he'd suggested they bake cookies together to take her mind off whatever was bothering her, but he could tell from the way she seemed just a little too focused on the recipe whenever he would glance over at her that it wasn't really working.

With a sigh, he decided to call her out on it. Wrapping his arms around her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder, he murmured, "I'm worried, baby..."

She leaned into him, looking every bit the happy couple, and, matching his tone, asked, "Why?"

"I'm worried about _you_, Princess." He turned her in his arms, keeping her close against his chest. "You've been awfully quiet since we finished the case... Something's bothering you, but you're not telling me."

She sighed quietly in his embrace, feeling warm and protected as she trailed her fingers down his toned chest. "Have you ever been in love before?" she asked, ignoring what he'd said.

"Why would you ask that?" he frowned, shifting to look her in the eye; she had been acting weird lately... "Is something wrong?"

"Everything's fine," she attempted a smile, her gaze flicking to lock with his. "I'm just curious. You've had so many girlfriends, I'm just wondering if you ever really loved ant of them."

"Why the sudden interest in my past relationships?" he asked, "Are you jealous?"

She simply shrugged. "I'm just curious," she said again. "I want to know more about you. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to..." she whispered softly, resting her head on his shoulder as he stroked her hair.

Morgan sighed softly, knowing there was more to the story than what Emily was letting on. They hadn't been together for very long, but he knew that a lot of the time she'd rather compartmentalize than face the problem. It was her way of dealing with things because she hadn't had anyone to talk to in the past.

Now that he was with her, though, he was determined to not let her compartmentalize so much. It couldn't be healthy to keep your feelings bottled up all the time.

Holding her close, he whispered, "There's something you're not telling me. I know we haven't been together for long, but I care about you, baby. If there's something bothering you, you can talk to me. I want to help you."

"I know you do," she murmured, inhaling his comforting scent. "Don't worry, okay? It's nothing, really."

"How can I not worry when my girlfriend is upset?" He kissed her gently, then sighed, deciding it would be easier to answer her question. "I'll be honest with you, I've never been in love."

She was quiet, biting her lip contemplatively. "Then, how will you know when you are?" she asked at length.

"I don't know," he shrugged, "It's not like there's a manual for that kind of thing, right?"

"Right." She gave a humorless half-laugh. "Do you ever worry that you'll never know?" she persisted.

"Sometimes," he admitted, running his fingers through her hair. "But Mama always tells me that when the time is right, I'll know. She says it'll happen someday..." He chuckled softly. "She talks like a fortune cookie sometimes."

She made a noise halfway between belief and disbelief, but didn't say anything, merely sighing softly and shutting her eyes.

It was clear that that wasn't the answer she had been looking for. He had a feeling he knew what she wanted to hear, but he also knew that he just couldn't say it yet. He had promised himself he wouldn't say it until he was absolutely sure for fear of hurting her.

As if in apology, he drew his arms tighter around her. "Baby, I've never been in love because, before you, I've never been in a relationship for more than two weeks...I doubt you could even really call any of them relationships. But I need you to know that you're different – I'm serious about you and I really care about you."

Looking into his eyes, Emily knew he was telling the truth, but she can't help the faint worry still lodged in the pit of her stomach that he'd never feel the same way about her. "I know..."

He sighed softly, knowing that his answer wasn't good enough for her. "Emily, I think I know what you want, but I can't give you that right now..." He couldn't help but feel bad when he saw her face fall a little. "I need more time – I want to be sure before I tell you. I promise I'll tell you once I get it all sorted out. I'll get there," he added softly but firmly, needing her to see that he was serious.

"But...what if you don't?" she whispered, a hint of fear breaking into her voice.

"Have a little faith in me – I'm sure I'll get there," he insisted gently. "You're the only woman I want a future with. I was serious when I told you that maybe one day, we could have a couple of mini-Emilys together. I want that with you, baby."

"I _do_ have faith in you." A small smile played upon her lips. "I want that too." She wrapped her arms firmly around him, feeling their hearts beating together.

Morgan tenderly pressed his lips against hers, murmuring, "Trust me – you're the only one for me." Holding her close, he kissed her deeply and passionately, pouring all his feelings for her that he couldn't quite put into words into this one kiss.

She returned the kiss with equal fervour, feeling his love for her in it, silently debating if she should tell him what she knew for sure or wait until he said it. She pushed that thought from of her mind when she felt a shiver running down her spine as his tongue gently caressed hers.

They slowly pulled back from the kiss, feeling giddy and breathless, and he grinned when he noticed the slight tinge of pink creeping up her cheeks, her lips swollen and red from their kiss. Smiling brightly, he leaned in to kiss her again, this time more gently and whispered against her lips, "I told Mama about us..."

"You did?" she raised her brows, clearly surprised, "What did she say?"

"She said she always knew she liked you." He gently tucked her hair behind her ears, grinning. "She wants to meet you again. If you're not too busy, she wants me to bring you home for Thanksgiving."

"Really?" she asked softly, smiling when he nodded. "I'd like that." Leaning against his chest, she added, "I was so worried your family wouldn't like me..."

"Silly girl," he said fondly, kissing her nose, "Why wouldn't they like you? You're amazing and you can kick my ass... Mama says she likes that best about you. I don't know what she means when she says I need a girl who isn't afraid to kick my ass when she needs to..."

Laughing, she said, "_I_ know what she means." She grinned fondly when he pouted, pretending to be hurt by her words. She kissed him apologetically, smiling happily against his lips. "I love you," she murmured, not even realizing she'd said it until a few split seconds had ticked by.

He looked at her stunned. "You _love_ me?"

For a few moments, her heart beat furiously and she couldn't find words. She hadn't planned on saying it, it had just slipped out. She took a deep, steadying breath, trying to clear her mind enough to find something – anything – to say. "I do. I love you. I realized it today... And I know you said you can't say it and that's fine, I'm not trying to pressure you or anything, I just..." she babbled, the way she always did when she felt anxious and vulnerable.

He cut her off, pulling her into another passionate kiss, wearing a brilliant smile. "I'm not quite there yet, but I'm sure I'll get there... Can you wait for me? I'm sure it won't take long..."

She smiled a little and nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She had to admit that she did feel a little better having said it.

He slipped a finger under her chin, tilting her face up so he could look into her eyes. "I can't say it yet, but trust me, you're the only one for me. There's no one else."

"I know," she smiled gently, "Take as long as you need – I know you'll get there. You're the only one I'd wait for."

He grinned mischievously. "So...while waiting, why don't we do something fun?" he asked, scooping her into his arms.

She laughed, "Well, since you can't _say_ it yet, I think you should show me..."


End file.
